Welcome to Janet's spectacular, fabulous, thrilling (insert several synonymous adjectives here) website. This is the place to buy my books, read my monthly humor column, find out about my upcoming projects and submit questions for my advice column. Whether you be a friend, a fan, a stranger, or an editor or agent ready to give me a multi-million dollar contract, I built this website for you.

Wait. Okay, if you're an editor or agent with that multi-million dollar contract, you're the true audience for my website. You freakin' far outrank all the other people.

On second thought, if you're the buyer for some big bookstore and want thousands of copies of Confessions of a Pink-Haired Lunatic or How To Make Your Life Suck, then really, I did all this work for you. Honest. You're my people.

But then again, if you’re a valued reader who wants to buy my books, read my blog or excerpts from my novels, then you are my chosen people. The people for whom I built this site. My true, beloved audience.

Hmmmm. oh, hell. Just check out my site. Thank you.